[“Forget”] Valentine’s Day

I’m going to say something that seems wildly radical, verging on insane. I need you to bear with me for a little bit.

What if Valentine’s Day isn’t that important?

Forget what Hallmark says. Forget what Lindor, Dove, Hershey’s, etc. say. Forget what your mom and grandmother say. Forget what BuzzFeed articles, magazines, and romance novels say.Forget what your friends say, and definitely forget what pop culture says.  Think about it for yourself. What does Valentine’s Day really mean?

The way most people think about Valentine’s Day is as a day full of material goods or extravagant gestures made by their significant others (or recently found significant others) that validates their relationship and reminds them that they are loved. For single people, it’s a day when we are made incredibly aware of our single status and is seen more as a day of moping, mourning, and/or drinking.

Why?

Why does one day have to mean so much? It’s just fluff. Valentine’s Day is in no way the meat of a relationship. Valentine’s Day does not your importance make.

You aren’t somebody special because someone gave you a stuffed bear on this random day, and you aren’t insignificant if you weren’t given anything by someone.

This is in no way an attack on couples. I love the idea of healthy romantic relationships. In fact, I hope to be half of one one day. However, I do not think that Valentine’s Day should be such an important day.

Do I hate the act of gift giving on Valentine’s Day? No. I give the people I love and care about valentines every year. I participate in Secret Valentines and enjoy getting recognition for Valentine’s Day. However, I am sick of feeling bad for myself because none of these gifts came from the person I like. I’m tired of feeling like I have to be sad that I’m single on this day (more-so than any other day). I’m sick of getting weird looks when I say that being single on Valentine’s Day isn’t such a big deal to me. Honestly, I’m single every other day of the year too, which means I’m not getting affirmations of love/attraction/liking from a romantic partner on those days either. Why should I be pressured into believing that this day is any different than any other?

Again, don’t get me wrong. I think you should tell the person you love or like that you love/like them. I think you should find a way to do this meaningfully and often. If you express your love through gifts, then more power to you. However, I don’t think that all of this pressure should be put on one day.

Valentine’s Day isn’t the ultimate authority on your love life.

Which also means that people shouldn’t feel it is necessary to have “anti-Valentine’s Day” parties, or post those negative and sarcastic statuses, cards, etc. (I’m guilty of this). If you are fine being alone, you shouldn’t have to pretend you aren’t and go out and party, drink, or buy yourself some chocolate. If you’re not fine, you shouldn’t have to broadcast that (unless you want to. That’s a different blog). If you’re in a relationship, then celebrate that fact as you want to.

Do what you want to do on Valentine’s Day, whether that’s watch Netflix in your sweatpants, party with your friends, drink alone, or go to a fancy dinner with your person. Just don’t do it to prove something.

So, whether you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day or not, think about why you’re doing it. Are you doing it because you think you have to, or because you want to?  Don’t let the internet, culture, or anything pressure you into participating if you don’t really want to.

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: